I could not think of anything for this topic outside of life without my Dad. Here’s something a friend sent me just after my Dad passed away:
Monday August 26, 2013
Remembering the Dead
When we lose a dear friend, someone we have loved deeply, we are left with a grief that can paralyse us emotionally for a long time. People we love become part of us. Our thinking, feeling and acting are codetermined by them: Our fathers, our mothers, our husbands, our wives, our lovers, our children, our friends … they are all living in our hearts. When they die a part of us has to die too. That is what grief is about: It is that slow and painful departure of someone who has become an intimate part of us. When Christmas, the new year, a birthday or anniversary comes, we feel deeply the absence of our beloved companion. We sometimes have to live at least a whole year before our hearts have fully said good-bye and the pain of our grief recedes. But as we let go of them they become part of our “members” and as we “re-member” them, they become our guides on our spiritual journey.
– Henri Nouwen
I decided the best way to articulate starting to let go and re-member my Dad is by writing a letter. Here it is and it’s me and it’s honest.